Whenever asked how long my husband and I have been together, we always answer, “We’ve been married for 32 years. At least 14 of them happily.”
We always get a laugh. But the truth of the matter is, we haven’t had 32 years of marital bliss. And his 14 years and my 14 weren’t necessarily the same 14 years. Would I give him up and do it over again with someone else? Probably not.
Even though I write romance, I know that even a couple who are deeply in love are not going to see eye to eye all the time from this day forward. You are two separate people with two separate lives and different opinions and beliefs.
What have I learned from 32 years of marriage? Marriage is hard. And it takes two people who are BOTH invested in being together for their lifetime. It can’t be one person doing all the giving and the giving in. It has to be a team effort. One both of you need to be determined to see through.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, everything is disposable. Marriage has fallen into that category for some. When my husband and I got married, we wanted it to be forever. We even put the inscription ‘Forever and Always’ on the inside of our wedding rings.
What’s my advice for a long and happy marriage? Make sure to spend lots of time apart. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder! LOL
But seriously, you don’t need to be attached at the hip to show you love someone. Find time for yourself and to be with your friends and do what you love, while your partner does the same. If you happen to have all the same friends and all the same interests, that’s even better. My husband and I don’t, but we allow each other time to do what we love. And then when we spend time doing something we both love, it makes that time so much more special.
In my book, Elusive Dreams, Erik and Tessa have a marriage of convenience and they have to figure out how to make their marriage work, without the perk of being in love. Check it out and see how they make this fake marriage into something real and lasting.
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