Celebrations of Love by @BonnieEdwards #RomanceGems

Again, as I write this, I'm preparing for a trip to sunny Portugal where Valentine's Day is not celebrated in the same way as it is in North America.

While running errands surrounding our trip my husband disappeared in the mall. Not a surprise, plenty of men do this, particularly when -ahem- the wife decides she must check out the store with 70% off. By the time I came out of the store with a new camisole and leggings he'd gone on some mysterious quest of his own.

I found him in the card section of a store. You see, he won't be able to buy me a Valentine's card when we're away. Portuguese men are not nearly as well-trained on this celebration as North American men. A lack, I think, of foresight from the women in Portugal.

In fact, the only thing we'll be able to do to celebrate Valentine's Day (in public, anyway) is go out for dinner. Why? Because the restaurants have embraced the day reserved for love and lovers while card makers and touristy stores have not.

It's even difficult to find birthday cards! And wouldn't you know it, my birthday falls shortly before Valentine's Day.

So he had to find not one, but two cards that show his undying love and support of me: the wife.

Be aware please that I did not prod him to go card hunting before our trip. He wants to avoid all the tramping around from store to store he did last year. He's learned that if he wants the romance to continue, he needs to plan ahead.

Good man. Well trained. Is yours?

A quick update on my year's plan (posted last month): I'm working on adding words to Christmas to the Max! This is the Christmas story that I’ve set in Welcome, WA.

DH is a late sleeper and I'm an early riser so those couple of hours are all mine to write, after I do my short morning yoga practice.

If you enjoy a good second chance romance and feel like grabbing a bargain (who doesn’t?) you might check out my story Whole Lot o’ Love This is a book about a woman with a new start and an old love...and another old love... and it’s only 99 pennies.

Please don't forget to enter our Monthly Giveaway for your chance to win. You can also go directly to the entry form by clicking HERE.

The "Misconception" of Romance Novels by @SatinRussell #RomanceGems

Ah, February. It seems like every time this month rolls around, there are think-pieces written about the romance genre. Some of them are thoughtful, such as this piece highlighting Helen Hoang, author of The Kiss Quotient.

Others…not so much. (And why must they always reference Fabio? Fabio was 1987, for crying out loud! We don’t all run around and refer to The Facts of Life or Growing Pains when we talk about sitcoms. But, I digress…)

I was recently asked by a reporter what I thought the “misconceptions” of the romance genre were. He was highlighting a romance author panel that I’ll be speaking at on February 13^th at the Salisbury Public Library. If you’re in the area, you can find the event here: Romance Author Panel

Honestly, when he asked me, I didn't know how to respond. Not because I couldn’t think of any misconceptions, but because there were so many things I wanted to say and I knew he was not prepared. Really, he was looking for a convenient soundbite.

You see, the "misconception" of romance is a topic I could probably talk about for hours. In fact, I have given whole presentations on the subject. I'm not the only one. There are countless books and articles discussing this. (One that I would highly recommend is "Dangerous Books for Girls" by Maya Rodale.)

First, it's important to consider how the romance genre has been referred to throughout history. Bodice rippers. Trashy novels. Fluff. Guilty pleasure. Formulaic (on a good day, if the person is trying to sound academic and not just biased.) Trite, vapid, mommy porn...

the list goes on, right?

Why have these stories historically been discounted as "not real literature?" I think it's predominantly because this genre is female-based. Meaning, it puts the female experience at the center of the story.

Historically, this genre was women writing stories for women...about women. And those women tended to be aspirational. Protagonists are strong, pursuing their life goals and dreams, and not settling - be it in their careers, relationships, or sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

That last one tends to be a particular sticking point for much of society. Throughout the ages, women who own their own sexuality and pleasure have been painted as harlots and sluts. In the past, our roles were relegated to pristine virgin, wife, mother OR the cautionary tale of a spinster, fallen woman, forbidden fruit.

The idea that a woman can have her own agency, or that she could inhabit a space in between these two polarities - for example, a woman who is both a mother and also a sexual being who pursues her own pleasure - is not a narrative our society tends to be comfortable with.

And yet, that is where most women reside. Which is why we see romance as one of - if not THE – best-selling genres in publishing. Obviously, there are people who are reading these books!

As our society has evolved, so too have our stories. This is due in large part to the advent of self-publishing. Back before Amazon reinvented the industry with the Kindle, the only way to get stories to readers was through traditional publishing. There were a few main publishing houses; Hachette, Harper Collins, MacMillan, Penguin Random House, and Simon & Schuster, to name a few.

Another romance author event for anyone local.

In essence, there were a limited amount of people who were the gatekeepers to our society's narratives. And while most of the editors were women, the people who had the money and made the decisions were predominantly men. So, if your story didn't fit their world-view, if it was considered morally corrupt or not proper enough, or if they couldn't see themselves in the characters (thereby making it unmarketable) then they weren't going to publish it.

You can see some of those biases represented in older romance novels. That's WHY the tropes of damsels-in-distress, strong stoic heroes, and "bodice rippers" really came about. Only the romances that stuck within well-understood gender norms were making it through the gauntlet.

Now with the advent of self-publishing, that has started to change. Don't get me wrong. Marginalized voices, POC and LGBTQ+ authors and characters are still massively under-represented. If you question that, simply look at everything that has been happening in RWA Nationals this last month and a half.

However, things are beginning to open up and Romancelandia has been in an ongoing conversation about the concept of who deserves love. In a word: everybody.

This can be seen in the sheer number of sub-genres that romance has to offer. Yes, there are the tried and true categories of contemporary romance and historical romance. There is also a spectrum in the genre from "Clean" (meaning no sex) Christian and Amish romances to "Sweet" (meaning limited or closed-door sex) to BDSM erotica (the door is WAY open. Heck, sometimes there isn't a door!) There are also combinations of genres, such as paranormal romance, romantic suspense, even science fiction romance.

This diversification within the genre is the trend romance should be taking because there are an infinite number of ways people meet, connect, and fall in love. Our world is full of romance stories. They walk hand-in-hand down the street. They sit in restaurants over glasses of wine. They struggle to figure out who's going to pick up the kids from school.

Every day, people with different histories, baggage and expectations find a way to be better together. I think those are stories worth telling.

I’d love to hear what you think! Do you believe there are “misconceptions” about the romance genre? Have you experienced them first-hand? If so, what are they?

Looking for the perfect Valentine's Day read? Check out our Valentine's Book Fair!

Also, don't forget our Romance Gems monthly contest. You can find the details on our Monthly Giveaway Page.

It's A Chocoholic's Dream Day! by Nancy Fraser #RomanceGems

Today's the day 'chocoholics' everywhere dream of ... 50% off Valentine candy!

Unlike the mad rush on November 1st for leftover Smarties and Peanut Butter Kisses adorned with ghosts and skeletons, today's rush will be for the ultimate prize ... chocolate!

As much as I love chocolate (and I do), I prefer to get my Valentine fix with a good book! Plus, of course, there's no "I can't believe I ate the entire box", sugar-induced hangover the next day. I make it a point to curl up with a good book, a nice decaf coffee, laced with a shot of Baileys, and maybe one or two pieces of chocolate.

What the middle of February also marks, at least for me, is a promise of spring. I've never really put much stock in the ground hog, but I do know that if I ration that 50% off chocolate to one piece (or two) per day, I can usually make it to the first thaw!

Mid-February also seems to be the time I get my second writing wind. My projects for the current year are already outlined and in place. I can start thinking about new projects. Maybe even something outside my comfort zone ... not that there are many things I haven't already done in romance.

Most people (authors and non-authors) make their lists at the beginning of the year. Some call them resolutions, some just name them plans, or goals. I prefer to get a bit farther into the year ... recoup the energy that leads to the second wind.

So today, at some point, I'll start making my lists. I'll begin with the obvious...projects leftover from last year such as the continuation of a series. I'll add something from one of my four publishers' wish lists. I'll finish with a challenge ... something I've always wanted to do but haven't...yet.

One year, the challenge consisted of writing my first erotic romance. The year after, it was my first fantasy. Last year's challenge was my first children's book (which was published just last month). This year???? This just might be the year for that cookbook I've been wanting to write.

In the meantime though ... here's a peek at my upcoming April 1st release. It's a short story for The Wild Rose Press' new "quick reads" line. And, because it's story one of a proposed five, it's also the catalyst for the first thing on my list ... continuation of a series.

~ ~ ~

High school teacher Maggie Lewis has decided to start looking for lust instead of love, and the right place for that is through Lusty Liaisons, a unique and exclusive dating service.

Her friends are always bragging about their fantastic sex lives, and Maggie wants a man who will ignite the fire that burns deep inside her, a man who'll satisfy her every desire…without the hassle searching for him through the tedious dating process. She's hesitant but excited to give in to temptation and agrees to a one-night only liaison with a sexy suit, a virtual Greek God who immediately puts her at ease. Maggie only hopes he's half as good in bed as he looks.

Business mogul Evan Steele is a workaholic. His recent sexual conquests have left him wanting something more, something different. He longs for a lusty, no-holds barred night with a woman who still borders on inexperienced. The demure teacher might be exactly what he needs. But can he break through her shy shell to delight in the fire that simmers below the smooth surface?  

~ ~ ~

Now is also a good time to remind you that we still have our weekly "Comment and Win" contest going on. A $5 Amazon gift card can be yours just for commenting on this or any other Romance Gems post! Don't forget, when posting a comment, to leave your email address. And, to avoid those dratted email harvesters, please write it out like this: romwriter96 at gmail dot com.

Congratulations to our first two gift card winners:

Week #1 - Iris Tseng

Week #2 - Mary Preston

And, of course, remember to enter our Rafflecopter draw for a chance at a Kindle Fire or one of six book bundles from our wonderful authors!

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Until later this month, stay happy, stay healthy (despite the chocolate), and stay well read!

Nancy

IT'S NOT ALL HEARTS AND FLOWERS by Hannah Rowan

Oh, the pressure!  Valentine’s Day is here again.  You’d think a romance writer would be brimming with ideas for what to get her spouse on this occasion.

You’d think wrong.

First of all, the cards…

I spent an hour or so perusing the card selection in my favorite Hallmark store. Yes, I’m a romance writer, but not a mushy-gushy type of person.  So that eliminated about half the cards that were so sweet I’m sure my husband would not only gag when reading them, but would wonder if aliens had replaced his wife with a doppelganger.  Many of the cards involve alcohol consumption, and while my husband generally has a beer when we go out on Saturday night, drinking isn’t so much a part of his routine that buying a card with drinking jokes would make any sense.  Apparently, many men are obsessed with playing golf, judging from the number of cards that refer to it.  My husband finds it boring. And then there are the ones that focus on fixing things around the house or doing chores, neither of which are my husband’s forte.

Eventually I’ll stumble upon some moderately suggestive, faintly funny, somewhat sarcastic card that fits the bill, more or less. 

And then it’s on to the gift…

Many women tell me they don’t bother exchanging gifts with their partners, but where’s the fun in that? I know I’ll get a gift and I’d feel guilty if I didn’t give one in return.

So over the years I’ve bought an assortment of gifts that might be considered a bit peculiar and not terribly romantic.

Like a session of shooting zombies at an indoor gun range.  (He used this one because we went together.) And a gift certificate to the new hatchet-throwing facility that just opened near us. (He continues to tell me he’s going to go with a buddy.  Soon.  Very soon.)  A one-hour massage session I’m considering confiscating if the facility will still honor a five-year-old gift card.  A drone that has never come out of the box.

I could go on, but there are only a few days left until Valentine’s Day and I should probably be spending the time trying to come up with the next off-the-wall addition to a long line of gifts.

I’d love to hear other people’s Valentine traditions.  What’s the best or the strangest gift you’ve ever given? Or that you’ve received?

This Love by @ElsaKurt #RomanceGems



Things I Do To Aggravate The Husband

Hello, my new friends. I'd like to share some musings and some photos with you as you get to know me. Today's thoughts are both silly and sappy, so bear with me. As a writer of romance, I often think about the nature of love. It’s sort of a job requirement, I suppose. This morning, with coffee in hand, laptop (and dogs) on lap, and husband snoring in the bedroom, I began thinking about how love changes over time. I found myself chuckling in between the snores and sentence pauses because ten years ago - when our love story began - I couldn’t imagine that specimen of a man doing something so unattractive as snoring.

That, of course, was the new love phase, when everything they say and do is magical and perfect. Little flowers and hearts float around your heads all day. Every text or phone call is greeted with giddy excitement. Adventures abound and nothing can bring you down from the clouds. You can scarcely imagine it getting any better than the all-consuming lusty love of it all.

Our Wedding Day

And then it does. Slowly, almost unnoticeable at first. Ease and comfort replace the awkward getting-to-know-you and nervousness. He doesn't have to tell you he hates broccoli or likes his pizza crust burnt, you already know. You stop wondering if every little fight means the end. You relax, open up, trust, and let yourself fall.

Love stops always looking like flowers and fancy dinners, but more often like Chinese takeout, an old movie, and your ratty pajamas. It stops sounding like, "I'm so in love with you," and more like, "I unloaded the dishwasher for you, babe."  Love, in its maturity, feels less like a roller coaster, and more like a canoe on a gently rippling lake. To be sure, I love all stages of romantic love. But I love this kind of love most of all.

My sweet, still snoring husband asked me once - early in our relationship - if I was in love with love. I laughed and said, "Absolutely. Who wouldn't be?"

He persisted, "Yes, but how can you be sure you love me, and not just the idea of being in love?"

It was a fair question, one I didn't have a ready answer for. In my forty-seven years, I've had plenty of experience in falling in love. In fact, I was fabulous at it. And yes, more times than not, I'd fallen in love with an idea of a man, rather than the men themselves. As to be expected, those relationships crashed and burned once the blinders came off.

Kind of Sums Us Up

Then came this man. Is it too cliche to say this time was different? Because it was. Different. Unexpected. Challenging. Real. For the first time, I didn't plot our entire future after a first date. I forced myself to live in the moment. I locked my rose-tinted glasses in a virtual drawer. I traded the word  'forever' for 'so far.' I let the relationship grow at its own pace. I learned how to love more than just an idea. I figured out that love is no puzzle at all. It is Timing, Chemistry, Patience, and Tolerance. It's romantic dinners and snoring. It's vacations and holding hands when faced with the worst news of your life. It's seeing his car in the driveway when you get home and smiling that he's there... and swearing because he didn't bring up the garbage can. Love is a life built on moments.

So sappy, right? I'm not always like this, I promise. But it is Valentine's Month (Pshh, Valentine's Day isn't enough for us!) Bear with my sentimental waxings, there's only a little more to go... 

In light of this love fest post, I thought I'd share with you my most swoon-worthy book for the hopeless romantic. It's called Still Here, and it is about a  couple named Damon and Birdie Harrison. On their fifth wedding anniversary, they charter a boat to a small island named Tumau. A tragic event occurs, shattering their idyllic lives. One is bereft and devastated, the other lost. But all is not what it seems, and Tumau holds a secret that changes everything & challenges everything they thought they knew.

I'd love for you to check it out HERE

This book is so dear to my heart because it is, at its core, a love letter to my husband. I wanted the world to know - in my quirky way - how grateful I am to be loved by a man such as the one I married. Though the story is pure fiction, its heart is in truth.

Now, if you've just gone into Diabetic shock from all that sweetness, let me save you with my not-so-sweet Rom-Com, The Awkward Woman's Guide to Dating (After Divorce). It's exactly what you're thinking- mishaps, mismatches, and mayhem for the newly divorced Keira. She's juggling work, kids, a real jerk of an ex-husband, so why not throw online dating into the mix? In other words, just what the doctor ordered for the mature single ladies in the house ;) If you'd like to check it out, click HERE

As we continue to get acquainted, I'll share more of my stories (and the stories behind them!) But for now I'd like to thank you for letting me into your world. I truly love getting to know my readers, so come on by and say hey on social media @authorelsakurt any time.

Oh, and don't forget to enter the Romance Gems’ “Comment and Win” weekly drawing for a $5 Amazon gift card. The first drawing is this Friday! Just comment on any of our posts throughout the month and you’re automatically entered.

And, of course, enter the Rafflecopter drawing for a chance at winning a Kindle Fire or one of six bundles of books by the wonderful authors of this blog!

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