Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Learning to Trust is an adulting thing by Peggy Jaeger

For this month's theme, Life Lessons,  my catch phrase to remember is LEARN TO TRUST.
You might be thinking, Duh. Doesn't everyone know how to do that? I'm here to tell you the answer is No.

Trust is something that needs to learned, reinforced repeatedly, and for someone like me who's been burned more times than not by people I did place my trust in, once it's been tested, it's usually lost for a lifetime. Fitzwilliam Darcy's words come to mind. In one part of Pride and Prejudice, Austen has him say, “My good opinion once lost is lost forever.” At its core, this statement is about trusting others, and once that trust is challenged, in Darcy's case, it is lost forever.

I know I sound cynical, but there are very good reasons why I have a difficult time placing something so valuable such as my trust, in others.

In as many ways as trust develops, it can be lost. You can trust someone will pick you up on time for an appointment because they told you so, then when they blow you off, you've lost trust in their ability to keep promises. You can trust someone will tell the truth because it's a societal standard, and then lose all trust in them when you catch them in a lie. You can trust your husband/wife not to cheat on you because they've taken vows that state they won't, and then you'll get your heart broken and forgo that trust when you find out they've had an affair.

We trust our leaders to be honest - and then they lie and cheat to advance and profit.
We trust our parents to care for us - and then then abuse or neglect us.
We trust our faith to guide us - and question that very same faith when it is threatened.

You can come up with a million other reasons to trust in someone and then be burned.
The underlying point is trust is fragile.

Now, I realize this topic can get very heavy and morose. My newest book, IT'S A TRUST THING is anything but. It's the story of a girl who's had her trust in men shattered one too many times. But she's met a new guy - when she wasn't looking to - and he just may be the man to help her get over her trust issues.


Nell Newbery has trust issues. It’s hard to trust when you’re the daughter of a fallen financial scion who bilked people out of billions. Nell’s done everything in her power to keep away from men who see her as their ticket to fortune and fame. All she wants to do is run her ultra-successful business, HELPFUL HUNKS, in peace.

But it wouldn’t hurt to find a guy who doesn’t know a thing about her father’s felonious past; one she can give her heart to and trust it won’t come back to her battered, bruised, and broken.

Is Charlie Churchill that guy? On the surface he seems perfect, all polished manners and quiet mirth. Nell’s convinced he knows nothing about her, other than she likes superhero movies and views junk food as a food group.

Can she trust him to be what he appears to be? Or is he just pretending?

For Nell, trust is everything in life…and in love.

I loved writing Nell and found the perfect guy for her in Charlie. This was my first indie published book and it so special to me. It's available in print and ecopy exclusively on Kindle and in KU. It's a RomCom with a message, which is my favorite kind of romance!

And...because this is the ROMANCE GEMS site, we're having a giveaway to showcase our Life Lessons:



November is the month for Gratitude, Appreciation, and counting your Blessings if you are  religious and/or philosophical. Grateful, Thankful, Blessed—that's what we Romance Gems Authors feel. Join us this month in celebrating the Life Lessons we all learn. Enter our November Rafflecopter now for a chance to win 1 of 5 Amazon Gift Cards. 

You can enter by going to the Monthly Giveaway Page 

And watch our video for a recap of our life lessons

Until next month ~Peg






29 comments:

  1. I don't have much trust and I'm sorry for that, but if I'd only ever cared for people who deserved unlimited trust, I'd have missed out on a lot. That's my story and I'm sticking to it even on days it hurts to do so.

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  2. Excellent post! I read and highly recommend "It's a Trust Thing."

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    1. Joanne - bless you, girl and can I say, I TRUST YOUR OPINION!! heehee

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  3. I've always been a trusting soul...always looking for the good in others, too. Of course, that means I've gotten burned a few times, but on the whole, things have worked out okay. Thank God! Your book sounds like a wonderful read, Peg. Best of luck with it!

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    1. Judith! Thank you and thanks for stopping by Today

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  4. I've never been one to trust easily, but I think I'm wiser now, so I'm better at knowing who I can and can't trust.

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    1. Jennifer, exactly!!! learning to trust has a backbone of wisdom to it!

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  5. Great post. When I was in my teens and early in my twenties, I trusted everyone. I got burned so many times, I still have marks to prove it. Nowadays, I am cautious. I'm like a fisherman, I throw out my line and see if anything worthy is biting. Trust, once broken, is lost forever in my books.

    When I first got into the publishing business, I put my trust in the wrong people and boy did I pay for it. But now, I'm trusting with a bullet-proof vest.

    I do trust you, Peggy. We know each other's secret love of baking, cooking and other delicacies. :)

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    1. Darling girl! _ I TRUSY YOU WITH EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And it's true, once burnt ( or in mine and your case - several burns) twice shy.

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  6. Excellent, excellent post. Thank you.

    And the book sounds very good. I love the name of the hero, too.

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  7. I'm distrustful of anyone trying to sell me anything. That probably comes from growing up in a family where money was tight. So many "author services" out there these days, many of them pure snake oil. Good post, Peggy!

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  8. Sadira - I tend to think I started the lightning rod movement against TELEMARKETERS!!!! I have never trusted anyone who tried to sell me something over the phone, so I hear ya.

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  9. I'm the type of person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, even if others have said otherwise. Everyone deserves a clean start. But once someone does something they shouldn't, they lose my trust forever. Gone!
    But I always trust you will have great books for me to read!!

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    1. Kari Lemor - I LOVE YOU!!! And I would trust you with my life.

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  10. Great post, Peggy! Yeah...trust has to be earned as far as I'm concerned and once violated is very difficult to rebuild. Cheers!

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    1. It's true, truer more in the world we now live in isn't it?

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  11. Loved the post! Yes trust is a fragile thing...worth protecting in relationships. Learning to show grace to others has helped.

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    1. Suzannah - I strive for GRace every single day... unfortunately I fall short more times than not. But I still try again. Thanks for stopping by.

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  12. You really struck a chord, Peggy. We've all had our trust shattered at one point or another in our lives. It can be really difficult to rebuild.

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    1. Kathleen - in some cases ( mostly my own!) it can never be rebuilt, which is a shame. But that old aw is true: fool me once....

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  13. Interesting Post! Trust is a very fragile thing. Thanks for providing some insight into this heavy topic.

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  14. I agree, the hero's name is great. I keep thinking of Newberry St in Boston. It's often called an "enchanting street." Perfect name for a hero.

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    1. Nora - thanks. A few differences, tho. My Newbery is spelled with 1 r and the heroes name is CHARLIE CHURCHILL. My heroine is Nell Newbery. And just FYI I LOVE NEWBERRY STREET in Boston too!!!

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  15. Profound post, Peggy. Like many, I'm a bit cynical and not quick to trust. Perhaps that comes with life experience.

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