Friday, May 8, 2020

3 Types Of Quarantine Moms by @ElsaKurt #RomanceGems


Hey there! Welcome to day... what day is it, again? Huh. Well, at least I know it ends in -day. Do I get points for that?

Okay, I'm mostly kidding. I never know what day it is. (*cue sitcom laugh track) All right, now I'm done cheesy joking. However, today's blog post is all in good fun, self-deprecation, and humor... less the cornball jokes.

I've been following all my friends and acquaintances Quarantine Mom Life posts about homeschooling on Facebook, and I have to say: I am so glad my kids are adults. I couldn't do it. Nope. Nope. And triple nope. Not in this day (or age). My patience would end at, "Do not click on YouTube while your teacher is talking on Zoom, please."

So, it got me thinking about the different "types" of moms. And, since Mother's Day is around the corner, I thought it would be fun to play a game. It's called: What Kind Of Quarantine Mom Would You Be? Wait, I think that's more like a quiz than a game. Eh, whatever. Below are three quarantine mom types. In the comments, tell me which one you relate to the most! (And yes, you can sub with "Dad" or "Grandparent Who's Parenting")

 Quarantine Mom Karen (Week One):

  • Spends all night preparing a color-coded itinerary for each child. They will have structure.
  • Has the entire week meticulously planned: 7am: wake the children. 8:15: breakfast. 8:45: morning meeting (because that's what they'd do at school) 9am: open Chrome books and read aloud their assignments.
  • Karen blogs about being a mom, and sets her laptop up at the table with the children so she can supervise and share her parenting tips.
  • Feeds children scheduled snack at 10:15
  • Checks Facebook, sees that Gina's already posted five times. Shakes her head, but taps the "like" button anyhow.
  • Pours third cup of coffee, resumes homeschooling and working from home like a boss. Doesn't understand what Gina finds so hard. She has three kids to her one, after all.
  • Karen's feeling pretty smug about now because she's had Amazon delivering her paper goods in bulk for the past year. Plenty of  TP in Karen's house!
*In week three, Karen discovers that her middle child has been creating fake accounts on social media under the name "Billy Buttcheek." Her eldest daughter has been carrying on an online "relationship" with a senior boy of questionable background. Her youngest has used the last roll of toilet paper to make himself into a mummy. Amazon has canceled her upcoming order due to demand and lack of supply. She texts Gina for that wine club information. Drives by Target and gets teary.

Quarantine Mom Gina (Week One):



  • Starts every day thinking, "I swear to God, if this kid starts with me today, I will lose it."
  • Has orders for no one to speak to her before 8:30 am. Nobody listens.
  • Plans to do her Zumba class while Junior is in his class Zoom meeting. (Learns later in the day - via email from the teacher -  that Junior brought his laptop downstairs and showed everyone his mother doing Zumba.
  • Has first glass of wine in Mommy's special cup at precisely noon.
  • Can't work the damn computer, need Junior to help her.
  • Doesn't understand what the hell Prodigy is, and doesn't believe Junior when he says it's for learning math. Decides to say screw it, because it's keeping him quiet for the first time all day.
  • Has second glass of wine at 3:00, when she realizes the "school" day is over, but the rest of the day has just begun.
*By week three, Gina has given up on Zumba and started working on her side hustle. Junior is doing well enough (she thinks, can't really tell) on his schoolwork. She has a Wines of the World monthly subscription, and Amazon delivers boxes to their house on a daily basis. Starts to think quarantine life ain't so bad. Reads Karen's blog for the laughs.


Quarantine Mom Jen (Week One):

  • Gives herself a really big pep-talk on morning one of home-schooling. "Jen, you got this. You can do it. It'll be fun, all this family time. We can all reconnect. It'll be great."
  • She showers, gets dressed, and does her hair and makeup. Insists they all must do the same for civility's sake.
  • While the kids are eating their special omelets (on their special plate, because it's a special day) Jen stumbles across Karen's blog & decides she needs to step up her game.
  • Makes a posterboard for both kids based on Karen's brilliant suggestions. Feels inferior to Karen. Does it over.
  • Halfway through the week, Jen pats herself on the back. Everything is going smoothly enough. Then... math. She opens the first bottle of wine. It's noon on Wednesday and she's still in her pajamas, as are the husband and kids. But they're calling it Pajama Day, so it's okay.
  • By the end of the week, she wants to throw the laptop out the window but still uses her calm mommy voice. Mostly.
  • She stops reading Karen's blog and decides the woman is a crazy robot bitch. Facetimes Gina to vent. Ends up joining Gina's side hustle "team," even though she'd never spend that kind of money for that product.
*By week three, Jen had dropped out of Gina's "team." She wears yoga pants and a messy bun every day. Her kids are eating Poptarts for breakfast and whatever the hell for lunch, but they still eat a civilized, family dinner at least two nights a week. The poster boards are in the recycling bin. Her new mantra is, "We're all doing the best we can, and that's good enough." Texts Gina for that wine club.

Honestly? I'm a cross between a Gina and a Jen. How about you?

Non-Segue To The Latest In ElsaWorld...

  1. Latest News 1  Quarantine hasn't slowed or changed my writing (and writing-related projects). Book six - the final in the Welcome to Chance Series - is coming out on Tuesday, May 12th! It's bittersweet to have reached this point. I'm proud of the accomplishment but sad to say goodbye to these characters and town. I've loved it there so much! Although, admittedly, I'm not entirely sure I'm truly done with Chance. There may be a little something, something in the works. (wink, wink) Oh, and the bonus book for Newsletter subscribers is HERE. You can pre-order now HERE. Oh, and here's the cover chosen by readers: 
Latest News 2 My latest release, The Two Tenleys had a facelift. I didn't love the cover after I published it. It happens sometimes. Therefore, I couldn't just let it float around out in the universe without the cover it deserved. So.... ta-da! Here she is:


Much better, right?! As much of a bummer it is to A) admit a major mistake, and b) do so publicly, I knew it had to be done. I confess: My impatience is a curse. When I want something, I want it yesterday. Hence, my poor choice needing revision. Sigh.

    3) What hasn't been a mistake is growing my Path To Authorship coaching program. This has been (and continues to be) a source of joy for me. I help new and aspiring authors navigate through the writing, publishing and promoting process & help them pursue their goal of authorship. It is SO fun and rewarding. If you or someone you know falls under that category, send them on over to my page: Path To Authorship to learn more.



What's New With Your Romance Gems?

I'm glad you asked! Our May giveaway and theme are in full swing. First Prize: $20, Second Prize: $15, and Third Prize $10, all paid in Amazon Gift Cards.

Best of Luck to everyone in the drawing! Click: Rafflecopter giveaway to enter!

21 comments:

  1. I love it! I have to admit, if I'd taught my kids, they probably still wouldn't know how to read (leave me alone--I'm reading), math (how the hell should I know how to find the answer?), or science (blech).

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    1. Ha,yes!!! My kindred spirit, you are ❤️

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  2. Yep, I am so glad that my kids are grown and on their own and I decided to retire from teaching two years ago!! I don't think I would have made it. The teachers I know are working more hours than ever before, trying to get everything working and connecting with kids. God Bless all those trying to teach at home.

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    1. OMG, can you imagine doing what they have to do right now?! It's a hard job during the best of times, let alone this ❤️

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  3. Bless the teachers and may you be blessed with many sales.

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  4. Amazing how we’re appreciating so many people we paid little mind to before. We’re not missing lawyers and stockbrokers and appreciating them are we? It’s the hands on people we need the most these days. Hands on includes teachers ... bless every one. What a fun and funny post...just what I needed today!

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    1. Soooooooooo true! It's heartwarming to see the love and gratitude going out to them ❤️

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  5. Love it! I'd probably start out a Karen and end up a Jen, except with tequila! Glad my kids are adults. I did have to chuckle though, when my daughter confessed she was teaching her three teenagers in "home school" how to write in cursive (because, you know, they don't do that any more in school). The kids don't see the point but I have to give her kudos for trying! Great post!

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  6. Totally cute post. Glad I raised my kids when life was simpler. What a generous idea, your path to authorship.

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    1. Thanks, Kathleen! It's such a joy to see someone pursue their dream & to be a small part of what helps them!

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  7. The rafflecopter form won't let me put the information in that I commented. Is anyone else having problems?

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    1. Deborah, I'm not sure why it's not letting you enter the date. I just did it and it worked fine for me. Please make sure you're logged in, either with FB or your email. That should be the only thing stopping you. I know it wasn't working a couple of days ago b/c I accidentally forgot to make it a daily task, but it's been working ever since Tuesday when I fixed it.

      Please respond back if you're still having an issue and I'll put the entry in manually for you.

      Delete
    2. Nancy, I am logged in and it still won't let me enter the date.

      Delete
  8. Fun post. I don't think I fit any of the moms but my kids have been frown for years. when they were young, they were quite ill and I did a lot of homeschooling when they missed. I did just fine except for new math. Ugh! What a nightmare! Congratulations on the new release!

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    1. Thank you! Thank most have been so difficult :(

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  9. Hahaha...hilarious and true, Elsa! I'm SO GLAD my daughter is grown, because I've always considered teachers superheros. I'm with you - a combo of Gina and Jen. I have had periods of being Karen - esp. the coffee 😁 - but then life gets real. Best of luck with all you've got going on in writing land. Thanks for the smiles!

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    1. Thanks, Kathryn! I secretly wish I had at least a little Karen skills, lol!

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  10. Good luck with the new book. Can't wait to hear the wink, wink idea that's brewing in your imagination.

    When my kids were little, I'd have them all doing something every minute they were awake so they didn't annoy each other endlessly. Two boys and two girls really know the buttons to push to irritate their respective brothers and sisters. So glad they grew out of that. *LOL*

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    1. Thanks, Joan! Four kiddos!! Wow 😳 You had to be super Mom ❤️

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