One of the most difficult things for introverts is socializing. A lot of writers are introverts, preferring to hunch over a computer keyboard and live with imaginary people rather than real, breathing humans.
Guilty
as charged. With my made-up characters,
I don’t have to worry that I’m not wearing the latest fashion, or that my hair
looks awful, or that I’ll say the wrong thing.
I suspect (ok, I know) I’m not alone in this.
I
try, honestly I do. But being the type
of person who’d rather listen than talk, people think I’m aloof and
snobbish. And at writer’s conferences,
sometimes it’s worse when you’re published.
Most times, unless someone asks, I won’t mention it. I love to talk writing with other writers,
but the instant an unpublished writer learns I’m published, they clam up. I don’t know if they assume it’s because,
being pubbed, that I know everything (I don’t), or what.
These days, with Covid-19, socializing has been put on hold. When I do go out (only for necessities,) I wear a mask. That surprisingly eliminates a lot of the appearance worries, at least for me. Mask and sunglasses, no makeup - I'm good.
Writing has honestly saved my sanity though. I've always been kind of a hermit, but this self-isolation has taken that to a new level. I'm on deadline, working on a contracted book, and while it's a lovely distraction, it's also difficult to turn off the constant barrage of news and dissent. In my character's world, there is no virus, no masks, just the world as it used to be before all of this.
And so I still struggle. Though I've been published for 23 years and writing a lot longer than that, it's not how pre-published me imagined it. I somehow thought once a writer became published, the words would always simply flow. Hah! I
have a big secret for you – it never gets any easier.
Sure,
the more you write, the better you get.
Just like anything, practice improves your game. And I find the more I get edited or
critiqued, the more I learn my strengths and weaknesses. I’m more easily able to fix my mistakes on my
own. But I still read How to Write books.
I still attend workshops, seminars.
Because I can always get better, up my game, improve.
I
used to think the longer I worked at it, the easier it would become, but
sometimes I suspect it’s the opposite.
The more you know, the more conscious you are of your mistakes and the
more you are desperate to not make them.
Believe
me, published authors are just as insecure as unpublished. Maybe even more so. The other day on Twitter, a NY Times
bestselling author tweeted about how she was doing revisions and mentioned a
phrase that she’d written, followed by a ‘Did I really write that? I suck.”
My
reaction was ‘Wow. Even them. Even those who have hit what many consider
the pinnacle of writing success are insecure.
But then I realized, we’re all writers.
And in the end, we are human after all.
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The words "I suck" need to be taken from our consciousness, don't they? And yet we all think them over and over. A great post, Karen, and good things to think about.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I would love to get that voice out of my head that tells me I'm not good at writing. But it's always there....sigh. I understand your struggle with being an introvert. I am definitely more of an introvert myself. Glad I am in good company!
ReplyDeleteI just posted the other day about needing to stop comparing myself with other authors! Yet, we all still do. It's part of our nature I guess. I'm trying harder to make myself see that all authors have their own pace, their own struggles, their own idea of success. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteIt’s amazing how often I hear authors say they’re dumb or stupid about technology or software when we’re busy trying to LEARN. If we heard children’ say those things about themselves we’d do everything we could to reassure them...it would be a huge teaching moment right? full of reassurances and comfort. COVID-19 has made me more of a hermit and that’s too bad because I used to be far more social. I don’t know how my hermit ship grew but it has. I often think I need to get back to going out with friends but I never pick up the phone...
ReplyDeleteMy fellow introvert sister - I get you. On all counts! We all likely need the reminder of your last line "we are human after all." Thanks for the post!
ReplyDeleteI recently came across the word ambivert. Neither introvert nor extrovert. I'm social. I like meeting people. Talking to strangers, no problem. Talking to a crowd, no problem. Too much socializing, I need alone time to recharge. A true extrovert can't be alone. They need the stimulation of others to energize them. I didn't ned a fancy word to figure this out. We all need balance, just varying degrees.
ReplyDeleteSeems the more I learn, the more I find out I need to learn yet. That's life. We'll never be know it alls. Though, once in a while that would be nice.
ReplyDeleteKaren, I identified with your post. I'm an introvert and become more so each year. So many new things come along--publishing changes, software changes, social media changes. Keeping up is hard. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI don't particularly like speaking in front of people but will do it if need be.
ReplyDeleteI must admit to being an introvert. My life barely changed under lockdown rules.
ReplyDeleteKaren, what you say is so true. It NEVER gets easy. I'm in the "suck" stage and can't let go of the book I'm editing, but I'll be forced to in a couple of days. I'm an ambivert so I'll mingle in my small gated community where we all interact more frequently than most neighbors. I'll hang out on a bench by the lake, while social distancing, and watch the ducks and talk with friends. Then it's back to the "suck" stage with a new manuscript.
ReplyDelete