The Mother in You!

By: Marcia King-Gamble

www.lovemarcia.com

This month of May is all about Mothers. This brings up the question of what is a mother? 

Is it a woman who gives birth to a child (birth mother), or is it the person who provides emotional care and support?

To me, a mother is so much more than the woman who carries a child, goes into labor and then gives birth. There are men who have stepped in and been both mother and father to a young one.

 Now, I’m going to say something that may or may not be controversial. Not everyone is cut out to be a mother. This is evident by turning on the television or tuning into the news. Almost every day a baby is abandoned or given away. Some leave the baby at the hospital or on a church’s doorstep. Others, less caring, dump the baby in the trash. Babies have been left in subways or abandoned in bathrooms. Then there are those who for a variety of reasons put their child up for adoption, either because they are simply not ready or have way too many mouths to feed.

 I’m not here to judge. Each birth mother has her own reasons. Not everyone is able or fit to take on that task. Mothering is a lifetime business, and some make the difficult or necessary decision to opt out. The reasons are varied, ranging from short on finances to single parent status. Some are just not feeling the maternal nudge.

 So, what’s my definition of a mother? A person who nurtures and cares for you. A person who is your biggest supporter, and who at times may demonstrate tough love. She/he is not necessarily an enabler, but someone there through thick or thin. She/he gives you a well needed kick in the butt when needed, and when not, waves your flag.

 Over time, I have had many mothers. They each taught me something valuable. My biological one was tough as nails and far from a shrinking violet. A woman way ahead of her time, she taught me the value of an education, and she promoted independence. She believed if you wanted something, you went out and got it yourself. No handouts for her or her children, and no dependence on a man. And by the way, she was married to my father for over fifty years.

My second mother, my aunt, was a free spirit, and probably more nurturing than my biological mother. You could tell her anything. She believed in me, and she found a way for me to go to that out-of-town college. If I ever needed something she was there, no questions asked.

Friends’ mothers often mothered me. We grew up on a small island where everyone made it their business to know your business. If you stepped out of line, your “Aunties” were right there admonishing you, and with your biological mother’s permission to give that backhanded slap. Back then, no one called Child Protective services if you got a well-deserved whack.  In fact, there was no Child Protective Services.

Even as an adult, an author friend, stepped into the role of “Mom” for me. She had five adult kids of her own. I became the 6^th. I learned to be more diplomatic from this wonderful woman who taught me the art of turning the other cheek. More importantly, she taught me that kindness really mattered. While she recently passed away, I will always cherish the memories of her generous spirit, and her reminder that when life hands you limes, lemonade should be made. Thank you, Linda Anderson.    

A book that we should all read, (not one of mine) also comes to mind. It’s titled a Mother’s Promise by KD Alden. While it’s not the easiest read, (in terms of a feel-good book), it does depict motherhood in a variety of forms.

So, what does a “mother” mean to you? Is she the cookie-cutter apron-wearing ‘mom,’ or is she today’s woman with a full-time job? There is no handbook for mothers to read. Mothering is just something that is trial and error and comes from the heart.

Have a Happy May. Big hugs to the mothers out there!

 

About Marcia King-Gamble

Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This former travel industry executive has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. She has contributed to Michael Fiore’s DigitalRomanceInc and served as a moderator on the now defunct eHarmony advice boards.  Having witnessed the bad, the ugly, and the not so good in relationships, she still prefers to write about happily ever after. Caring for her animal family keeps her grounded and sane.

Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS

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