Most writers are no strangers to social distancing or isolation. Many of the authors I know comment that today’s
situation isn’t all that different than their regular routines. At first glance this would seem to be
true. But is it really?
For many writers, the idea of being closeted at home,
assuming there’s a sufficient supply of coffee, chocolate, and wine, seems like
a dream come true. For some writers with
a live-in partner, however, blissful isolation with the freedom to focus on
their writing has turned into an impossible dream.
At least it has in my house, where the spouse is a personal
trainer who is accustomed to spending at least four hours a day, seven days a
week, at the gym. In the absence of a
gym or other people to train (read that torture by forcing them to perform
physical activity of a nature that requires sweating, not chocolate) this man
has turned his attention to improving my physical condition.
Every
day we head to a different park where we slog through mud, scramble up rocks,
or trudge along miles of trails enjoying the view of trees, trees, and more
trees, which don’t even have the decency to sport some leaves to break up the
monotony of the drab gray scenery. Occasionally we come upon a body of water
that not only provides some variety, but also serves as a breeding ground for
minuscule insects that fly up my nose and also feeds the gooey mud clinging to
my nice aerobic sneakers. This whole
process takes several hours.
But wait, there’s more…!
I could look at this enforced isolation as a perfect time
to work on my writing, but when we get home…
The spouse heads to my office to check his stocks on my computer
while simultaneously closing the tabs I left open for my research.
Yes, we’re going to eat.
And I also answer whether the mail has come, and do I believe a certain
politician could be so dumb, and do I have any books because he’s read all the
ones from the library, and where do I hide the light bulbs, and the batteries,
and, and…
My children knew not to interrupt unless there was fire or
blood. At this rate, I’m betting there
could be some blood very soon.
Ah, the joys of togetherness. We play dominoes after dinner and I’m
exhausted but I stay up all night to find some quiet. And think about how, when the virus has gone
and life goes back to normal, I’m going to go to a nice little Airbnb I know
of, where I can enjoy some alone time and grow to miss the company of my dear husband.
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Going to different parks sounds like a good idea. Though not sure I'd make it with a physical trainer. I'm too wimpy. Glad you have your quiet time to recharge. We all need that. Here's to the old days and the new and most importantly our health.
ReplyDeleteIt just got worse! The governor just closed all the parks because people weren't practicing social distancing. A few ruined it for the rest of us.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂 Awesome way to start my day! Thank you, Hannah!
ReplyDeleteNow imagine retirement--oh, wait, you're living it LOL When we RV'd full-time, Karl and I would go hiking. My idea of hiking was walking on a dirt road. His was going up the sides of mountains. I'm a klutz but like you, I'll follow hubby wherever he goes.
ReplyDeleteI did learn to put him to work. He has his own computer and we both have our own offices now that we're in a stationary home again. He does the math part of our writing business and everything else I hate.
Put hubby to work or have him make a YouTube video of exercises LOL Good luck!
I keep trying, Karen, but anything I think of for him to do seems to require my help! This is like a rerun of the years when he first retired, before he became a trainer.
DeleteI hear ya, sister!! I love my husband but I don't get as much writing done with him underfoot.
ReplyDeleteYour post was such fun! Marriage to a personal trainer sounds frightening for a wuss like me. Fortunately, my retired hubby assists me by doing all the cooking, his laundry, and sometimes my laundry so that I have more time to write. We each have our own offices and computers. Each of us is an introvert so that works well for us. We enjoy our time together at meals and in the evening. Most of the rest of the time, I'm in my office glued to the computer. Life is good here!
ReplyDeleteCute, Hannah. And totally relateable. I am grateful Steel goes to work 5 days a week, and excited when he comes home at night so I have a live person to talk to.
ReplyDeleteHanna, we walk in the woods every day. It sounds like heaven to me, but if it's not something you enjoy then give it a pass. My dh has learned to stay out of my office. (mostly) The clutter in here drives him batty. LOL
ReplyDeleteLol. This is funny. Scary accurate, but funny! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. I needed it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Hannah.
ReplyDeleteWhat a funny post. I love it. I've heard several friends describe their experience that way. Hey, all you haters who said my not being married was weird, what are you saying now? Lol. Seriously, love your post. In my town we have Overdrive via the public library, where one can check out books and have them sent to a Kindle. You may hear, "Hey, come help me and see what this @$(&@#$ Kindle did that's not my fault," but maybe you could set hubby up.
ReplyDeleteHannah, your hubby and mine are cut from the same mold. I swear, if I dropped dead, my husband would starve to death. I can be gone all day, be dead tired, and know that when I get home, the first words out of his mouth will be, "What's for dinner?" I love that man, but sometimes I'd like to smack him. (I can't tell him now that it's whatever his favorite restaurant is serving.) Then there is his inability to find anything...anywhere. I feel like putting GPS trackers on everything in the fridge, the pantry, and the laundry room. I think it must be the testosterone. It makes them blind and completely eradicates any desire they may ever had to experiment in the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteYou had me cracking up, Hannah! I look forward... and slightly dread my husband's retirement years, lol! GREAT post!!
ReplyDeleteI love your post, it is so funny!
ReplyDeleteThank you, everyone, for the comments. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteMy life is not very different. This too shall pass.
ReplyDelete