Wedding Whoopsies in the Month of June ~ by M.J. Schiller #RomanceGems

Ahh, June. The fairer month. June for me means two things which can seem contradictory, freedom and commitment.


Freedom because the school year's over. To celebrate, on the last day of school, I would always blast Alice Cooper's "School's Out" (for the summer) in our carpool on the way home. There I'd have waiting my Peanut Buster Parfait Ice Cream dessert to make things even more festive. After the daily grind of the school year, a much-deserved break was welcome.

June also means commitment to me. The commitment I made to my husband on our wedding day. On June 3rd we celebrated our 33rd anniversary. (Man it feels weird to say that!) I wanted to share a few memories with you of that day...

All weddings are going to have their glitches. Some big, some not so big. We had our fair share. The first thing was the fact that, through miscommunication, one of the bridesmaids showed up having not altered her dress to tea-length as the others had. She was distraught, believing she'd "ruined" the wedding. Luckily a quick-thinking florist provided floral tape to adjust the dress to the proper length and save the day.

I was walked down the aisle by my stepfather on one side, my dad on the other. During the rehearsal we'd worked out that I would turn to my stepdad first, he would lift the veil and give me a kiss and then I would turn to my dad. But I was so nervous--shaking with more fervor than a Latin dancer--that I blanked out and turned to my dad first. He just said, "Honey, you're supposed to have RJ lift the veil." Minor mistake. I was counting the fact that I'd even made it down the aisle as a win.

Our next little hiccup was sort of just that. One of my bridesmaids was extremely pregnant and felt so nauseous she had to step away. But she did it so discretely I barely noticed that. (Although she also cried and said she'd ruined the wedding. Weddings are very emotional days all around.)

I didn't notice Lori's exit, but I certainly did notice the moment my nightmare came true. I had a dream the night before that our best man, Tate, dropped the ring and it rolled under the pews and for some reason, I had to get down in my dress and crawl around searching for it. "Umm...excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Just searching for a ring..."

I have to explain that the best man's real name is Jerry, but everyone calls him Tater, or Tate for short. The name Tater does not inspire a lot of confidence or call to mind someone who is the portrait of responsibility. And our boy is a true Tater. I have never seen him serious a day in his life. So, as you can see, I had reason to be worried about him. During our real ceremony, the priest asked for the rings and I heard a ding. Unbelievably, Tate had dropped the ring, but he scooped it up on the first bounce and in one fluid movement put it on the plate provided for blessing it. I've gotta tell you, though, my heart stopped beating for a moment there.

The rest of the ceremony went fairly well, but I had made a fatal error. I should have worried about more than Tater dropping the rings. Like the fact that they were in his possession and had a very personal message engraved inside them. The cat was pretty much out of the bag, though, when we went out to our car and it was covered in shaving cream reading "D-bear (my husband) and Bubba (you're right, I have no right to question the name Tater) forever." What a schmuck I was!

But, I was married to my best friend, so nothing could phase me...until I searched for the car keys. My mom, in an effort to help, had taken my purse to the reception venue. (And remember, these were the days before cellphones.) I remember thinking, "There's a party going on for us. Too bad we're not there." I don't remember how we worked things out, but we eventually did.

At the end of the night, one of our dear friends (come to think of it, his name is Jerry, too) locked his keys in the car. We spent part of our wedding night sitting on the curb with Jerry until a locksmith came. But Jerry was and is hysterical, so that wasn't a problem.

Shoo! What a day to remember! If I had to do it over again, I would be more than happy to rush down that aisle to my handsome groom. However, I would probably rethink my inscription on the ring.

Well, thanks for listening to me reminisce. What wedding snafus have you been witness to? Come on! I know I'm not the only one.

Hope the rest of your June rocks! -mj