Saturday, June 13, 2020

It's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! Let's all Celebrate by Connie Vines


Even those who know her/his way around the kitchen, are able to relate to the occasional--or daily kitchen mishaps.  

Writing, Painting/Drawing, Music, and Cooking are classified as the 'Arts".  I find creative people are usually gifted, to some degree, in all of the Arts. (I'm also inclined to include gardening under the Arts umbrella, however, that's another blog post.)

Culinary arts, in which culinary means "related to cooking", are the cuisine arts of food preparation, cooking, and presentation of food, usually in the form of meals.

I must admit most of my 'heroines/heroes" are able to cook.  However, as in real-life, there are Kitchen Klutzes in my novels, too.  I must also confess, I routinely have more than my share of kitchen mishaps.  Especially, since we have all been spending a great deal of time cooking family meals these past couple of months.

June 13th honors those who would like to cook and be in the kitchen, but it just doesn’t seem to work well for them. After all, it is National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day.

Klutz:  most commonly referred to as a clumsy person.

How to Achieve Optimal Functioning Capacity | Yale College ...

Kitchen Klutzes are the people who set out with the intentions of being like Ree Drummond, Molly Yeh, Gordon Ramsey, or even the great Julia Child as they open up the cookbook.   Mixing bowl or Kitchen Aide mixer and ingredients on the counter, they imagine knife cuts as swift as Wolfgang Puck or Bobby Flay. However, reality quickly dissolves all those dreams as smoke billows from the oven, skillets erupt in flames, and salt is mistaken for sugar. Those knife cuts turn bloody, cookies and fingers are burnt, cakes go flat. The Kitchen Klutz has struck, and visions of spilled milk are pitifully cried over.

It may be necessary to keep a first aid kit and fire extinguisher handy when Kitchen Klutzes are around. Eat a sandwich before going over to dinner. Be ready to call 911 and have your favorite take out restaurant on speed-dial if things don't go well.

HOW TO OBSERVE #NationalKitchenKlutzesDay

There several ways to celebrate this humorous holiday.

Laugh at yourself. Share your mortifying stories of kitchen failure over a slice of microwave pizza.

Give your favorite Kitchen Klutz the gift of cooking classes. Or, better yet, offer to cook.

Watch your favorite cooking flops show.

Don’t forget to share your stories and celebrations using #NationalKitchenKlutzesDay on social media.

Or try a few of these never fail meals.

Walking Tacos

Heat a can of chili in the microwave (in anticipation of stove top misadventures).

Take smaller single-serving packs of Fritos and then slice them open on the side, then serve the chili right inside the packets of Fritos. Add in additional toppings of cheese, diced onions and minced jalapeƱos. You just hand everyone a fork and they each have their own individual servings of Frito Chili. It makes for an easy cleanup too!

Crab Fondue (For that Romantic Evening Meal)

Nobody really needs a reason to eat more cheese, but this crab fondue recipe is a good one. Crab meat (or imitation crab) and packaged cheese, this fridge and pantry meal is easy yet satisfying.

8 ounces cream cheese, cubed and softened
1 pound processed cheese, like Velveeta
1 cup dry white wine
12 ounces canned crab meat
1 dash of Old Bay seasoning, or to taste
In a fondue pot, slowly melt the cheeses in the dry white wine.

Fold in the crab meat.

Heat through.

Serve with crusty French bread, cut into squares.

Please share a recent, or memorable meal, you prepared. You know, it's the story which is forever embedded in the family oral history.

Let me share my first kitchen mishap.  I was a new bride and prepared Gumbo for dinner  (my husband is from Louisiana).

Gumbo requires a thickening agent.  I like okra (my paternal grandmother was from Texas and she prepared fried okra).  I also added ground sassafras powder.  This adds a fruit sweet flavor and also smells like root beer.  It is part of Cajun and Creole cooking--also a thickening agent.

New Orleans Gumbo Recipe | MyRecipes

Well, my gumbo had to be pried from the pot because it had the consistency of a paste.  Very thick, very hard paste. The rice, cornbread and pecan pie were delicious.  Not a healthy meal, for certain, but it stuck to our ribs for several days.


Connie Vines

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Connie Vines Website


  1. Lots of cooking here too, but I guess that's pretty much everyone lately! I've been baking a lot of bread and experimenting with bread machine recipes. I don't eat dairy or gluten these days, so the experimentation includes creating a gluten- and dairy-free bread that is good for sandwiches and toast, something that won't crumble and fall apart, etc... And not taste like cardboard! (like the kind you buy in the stores which is also super expensive!) It's a work in process but I think I've finally landed on the right combination of ingredients!

    Great post, Connie! I love to read about people's cooking adventures!

  2. Love the recipes. I'm cooking a lot, too. I like it, but also get bored with it. That fondue sounds sooo good.

  3. My daughter is a dancer and we always joked about all her dancer friends (and her) who could waltz across a stage but trip walking on a flat surface!! Great recipes! Thanks!

  4. I tend to burn my fingers on a regular basis! Because I was writing one day I forgot I’d put eggs on to boil and exploded them - heck of a clean up! Now I try not to leave the kitchen, even if a scene is calling me....

  5. Cooking, cooking, and more cooking these days! Super-fun post and great recipes, Connie. YUM!

  6. I love to cook! But I always make a mess. No matter how hard I try everything goes everywhere. I can't even handle myself correctly in a buffet line! The recipes sound great! Enjoyed the post!

  7. I am still endeavoring to learn the lesson not to leave something on the stove and pop into my office to quickly check email.

  8. I loved your post, Connie. Not my mishap but my brother and sister in law cooked together. My other brother always joked that when the first couple invited you to dine you needed to eat first. The reason is that although the food was always delicious, they would be a couple of hours later than expected in finishing. Come to dinner at two meant at four they'd serve. They were such lovely people I really miss them. I have a story of myself but it's too long for here.

  9. I'm so tired of cooking! My husband says I've only ever made one bad meal, and it was over 40 years ago and he still remembers it. My coworker gave me a recipe for chicken pot pie, but I didn't want to waste the chicken so first I used it for soup, and then put the remains of the chicken into the pot pie. It was totally tasteless - I guess the flavor all went into the soup. In fact, all my cooking disasters seem to revolve around pie of some sort.

  10. What you call Walking Taco is what they call Frito Pie in Texas. My husband said when he was a kid that you could order that at hamburger joints and they'd do the same thing. Open a bag of Fritos and pour in hot chili then top it with a little grated cheese. My family is from Louisiana so gumbo of various types is on the menu at least once a month in the winter.


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