Wednesday, June 17, 2020

The Woman in the Mirror by Liz Flaherty. #RomanceGems


Do you ever feel as if you lost yourself somewhere along the way? If you've had a bad time or an extraordinarily good one, do you ever look in the mirror and wonder exactly who's looking back at you? Because you've changed, and you're not sure what to do with the person who's there.

I'm feeling thoughty here--can you tell? I'm always, always whining about how much I hate change, yet when I look back--over bad times and extraordinarily good ones, it's an ongoing cycle, isn't it? It's what keeps life new and interesting. And, yeah, sometimes awful.

But if it weren't for change, and my kicking-and-screaming caving to it, I would:

  • Never have changed jobs and I'd have been stuck with working one I hated.
  • Never have married the man I did because he wasn't the first person I loved.
  • I'd never have had a third child.
  • I'd have given up the first time a publisher said Nope.
  • Or maybe the second.
  • For sure by the twenty-third.
  • I'd have kept my hair short.
  • And let it go gray.
  • I'd still be writing longhand on lined paper and thinking I wasn't good enough.
  • For anything,
So, no, I don't always know the woman in the mirror, or, for that matter, the man I'm married to. I don't always like either of us. There are days when I do feel like I've lost the person I was. Because I have. Because every re-invention in every time of life is change, it's often hard, and it's always necessary. I think maybe I like it.

The post above isn't new. I found it when I was out cruising around trying to avoid the place in the scene I'm writing when I realize I turned the wrong way at the last corner. I thought maybe I shouldn't use it here because this is, after all, a writing blog.

But what is writing if not the recording of change? What we write--including fiction--wouldn't have much purpose if the story didn't start where something changes. I love knowing this. It feels almost like that "secret handshake" we used to laugh about published authors having.

Carol's life is about to undergo some changes in The Healing Summer, starting when Steven Elliot rides his bicycle into the side of her car in the cemetery. I loved their story!

Be sure to sign up for this month's Romance Gems giveaway https://romancegems.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_28.html

18 comments:

  1. Great post and you've, once again, crept into my mind and discovered what I've been thinking... exactly how do you do that?



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  2. I love this post and your thoughts! I think we all have those doubts and feelings about change. But I wouldn't be publishing books if I hadn't decided to change. And I'd still be teaching and having chest pain on a daily basis instead of doing what I love (though I used to really love teaching too *sigh*)
    Thanks for sharing this!

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    1. Thanks, Kari. I'm glad you made the change, too, although we need good and loving teachers so much!

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  3. Secret handshakes. I remember wondering what the secret was too. Once I learned to write pro-active heroines and yes...starting at the point of change, I got my groove. But what hard lessons they were! Lovely post Liz...I kick and scream about change too. But mostly things fall into place, after all. Healing Summer sounds like a great and gentle read. Maybe one we all need right now!

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    1. Thanks, Bonnie. We kickers and screamers are necessary, aren't we? :-)

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  4. I hate change, too. It's hard. I word hard to avoid it, but I know it's necessary. Your line, "But what is writing if not the recording of change?", is beautiful. You're absolutely right. And stories can teach us that even though change happens, it can be good and it will be ok. Lovely post!

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    1. Thanks, Kara. I supposed I'll never get to where I actually love change, but, just like a kid who's driving you crazy, embracing is the best way to go.

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  5. You have a real gift for getting to the inner workings of a reader's mind.

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    1. Thank you. It's messy in here, isn't it? :-)

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  6. I've lived through a lot of change -- moved several times, job changes, husbands, career shifts... you think you'd get used to it and in some ways, I have. But the thing is, change is inevitable, or so they say. That doesn't mean I necessarily like the reflection in my mirror! Your post really had me thinking, Liz!

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    1. Thanks, Maddie. You'd think we would get used to, but...not always, for sure.

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  7. Ironically, this morning I wrote my granddaughter who just graduated from high school a letter about going forward. One of the things I emphasized, other than there's no one way to succeed, was to embrace change because it's the only constant in life. Loved your post, Liz.

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    1. What a lovely gift for your granddaughter. One of my grandsons was a senior this year, too. I asked his mother today to please stop talking about him being 18, because I can't bear it. Change hurts sometimes.

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  8. I hear you Liz! I definitely don't know that person in the mirror anymore & wonder where I really went. At times there's more change than I would like, more change that I'd like to be able to stop. Yet we all cope, adapt, accept...& change. Love this look knowing I'm not alone when I look into that mirror!

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  9. Oh, so true, and straight to the heart!

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